( swirling about them in tiny pockets is quiet laughter, and hidden company.
takasugi turns his hand, lifts the glass slightly to signal the bartender to top him up, and then pays close attention to how rinne chooses his words.
always careful, this one, until takasugi tries to reach beneath the armor and rip it off. he sips a little more slowly at the refill this time, the sting in his throat more than he expected. still, they never held back during his time; the guys in his company always let loose without a second thought. he felt the same—getting together with drinks should be a fun time.
and so— )
Ahhh. And that's what I don't get—why you're always jumping to some conclusion without consulting me first. You think you're going to... what, ruin my vibe?
( sip. )
When I said we'd shake things up in this boring world together? I don't say that to just anyone, you know. If I thought you were less than what I saw originally, then true, I would've cut ties by now. But I'm still here. Anyhow, it's partly research into our fellow Augmented, and partly building the capital to secure us a small area for performing, among other things. Like a camera-man who's frankly a bit annoying, I'll admit, next to the fact that his work is solid.
( it's the truth, even if he doesn't mention all his methods. the pleasant thrum of alcohol is slowly working its way into his head. )
[ He rolls his eyes. ] You think everyone's annoying.
[ And that's the thing. Rinne doesn't want to be everyone. And he knows this isn't the first time Takasugi's said this. Time and again, he'd always tell Rinne he was good. That he was enough. But even Takasugi had expectations, and Rinne wasn't always confident he could meet them, and...
Why is Rinne so hung up over what Takasugi thinks, anyway?
He takes another sip. ]
But a cameraman, huh? [ Rinne smiles at the thought. Will the cameraman tell him how good he looks on stage? Niki only cares about food and Takasugi's stingy in that department, so he hasn't exactly gotten any feedback on that. ] And here I thought we were just gonna rawdog our marketing 'til we went viral. Heh! Maybe being under your agency ain't so bad♪
Yeah, that's it. I work under you, so you're taking care of me. That's a real boss for ya! Niki takes care of me too, but that's kinda different. Niki wouldn't give a fuck if I went home and threw up on him right now. But you...
now it is hitting, the way his fingertips catch the condensation on the glass a bit more distracting. and why's he being challenged at a time like this, when he was already swallowing the embarrassment of being paid out by a younger man to come here? when he had been caught bouncing on his heels, rushing out the door blindly to find some common ground and be caught up in the whirlwind that was amagi rinne?
to mess with him, and pull the information he wanted out of him forcibly. that's what was so fun originally. now it feels like...
the question turns in his mind over and over, gaze slowly drifting away and to the countertop. )
he starts messing with that mop of dark red hair, using a free hand to scratch lightly at one of rinne's ears. )
Always trying to bite the hand that feeds you. But that's what makes you so charming, isn't it? There, there, Amagi-kun. No one in Valentia even comes close to you. You're handsome, and you've got a voice that would make anyone want to kiss you on the mouth.
( did he think he forgot the praise part? takasugi's face is flush with drink. )
[ He doesn't stop Takasugi, though. He just sits there, lowers his head, and takes it. Rarely does he feel someone's touch and allow it without consequence. But if it's Takasugi, it's fine. Maybe it's the imprinting? Maybe it's the way his Natural Soul has forged his body anew. Whatever it is, when Takasugi scratches behind his ears and praises him, it feels... nice. He would bite again as he always does, but he thinks about why Takasugi is doing this to begin with, and he relents. After all, if he were in Takasugi's place, he would want himself to accept what he was being given. Sometimes it's an even bigger joy than receiving.
( how obedient. the control turns something pleasant in the pit of takasugi's stomach, as he takes his time, lazily running his tipsy fingers through rinne's hair. it must feel nice, with the way he's reacting. good. why deny yourself what you want? why follow all those rules and traditions that didn't matter anymore? he doesn't have room to criticize, as he's still walking the line of a hero without looking back. but it's there on the tip of his tongue nonetheless—
"have fun with me instead".)
And how would you have me stop them? Take all those kisses for myself?
( it's a joke. amagi-kun's a graceful creature, despite all his sharp edges, and so takasugi knows he'll get it. probably.
he draws his hand down, thumb caressing the edge of rinne's cheek. it's softer than he remembers, when he's not trying to push him away and fill the space between them with distance. it makes him miss something, but he's not even sure what he's missing, doing this, the cotton sensation in his head getting more prominent.
best not to press too hard, anyhow, when an idol's selling point was also their face. )
Send them my way in the future, and I'll take care of it. That's a manager's job, right? To keep my cute subordinates from getting too overwhelmed. Only, ...
he's always found it easy to act like he has no intentions when he actually does. that was the beauty of negotiating, wasn't it? blending truths with lies. only takasugi's not sure anymore, when this bittersweet feeling washes over him like the mood on a rainy day, brows furrowing slightly. he could write a poem to get all these feelings out, but even that seems a little silly right now.
he opts to pat rinne on the cheek, and then, almost in a pout: )
[ Rinne blurts it out before Takasugi can finish his sentence and declare its reality. It's not like that. That's not what he meant. He only said that because he... Nevermind. As if he could ever tell Takasugi that. Before Rinne can admit to something even more damning, he leans into the man's palm and holds it in his own. Chases the warmth before he takes it back or loses it entirely. ]
We're nothing like family, so I don't ask you to carry my burdens, but who else would put up with me?
( the word thrums in his ears like the slow pluck of an instrument. distant yet near. )
That's a deal more binding than a word or a touch, don't you think?
( and he can't be here forever. can't absorb this warmth for a minute eternity, rinne leaning into his touch.
he didn't mean for this to turn a touch solemn with his complaint, but what else can he do? it's lonely. it's lonely, to bask in a glow and be reminded of the fact that he isn't someone to lean on. the faint red on his cheeks will fade with time and sleep, but maybe this selfishness won't. )
But you don't have to see it as me carrying a burden. Just... blame me for what I'm about to do instead.
[ Rinne smiles wryly. Blame Takasugi? Come, now. A monarch is not about to push his responsibilities onto someone else—especially not when that someone won't give him the words he wants. Well, that's okay. It would be cruel to bind someone to him by blood or some other way, and he shouldn't be having these thoughts, anyway.
Once again, Rinne keeps this light. ]
Or we could blame it on the summer heat?
[ Niki said they had a song that went like that.
Rinne finally lifts his shy eyes to meet Takasugi's, but the contact is too much. He looks at the hand on his cheek again, hoping that when his face burns hot, Takasugi doesn't read into it. ]
I ain't about to make your body carry more than it has to. What the hell could you even do now? Honestly, I just wanted to thank you and apologize...
"What can I even do"? You can be a bit clueless sometimes, Amagi-kun. But it's cute. I like it. I like the clueless you.
Your generous heart that breaks so easily when I push. Your hands, warm like a soft star.
( or at least, compared to his that tend to run cold.
which, don't worry about his body so much. in fact, quit worrying about it. not that he can say that right now, or even want to bring attention to it. he knows it's in rinne's face all the time, the shudders in his body so obvious with the change of weather. the way he almost stumbles after a long day of field research, or practice, and there's really nothing for it right now. but they should be focusing on happier things. they should be wasted, stamping on the countertop with song and dance. that's how this night was supposed to go, at least in takasugi's head. he never had a talent with drinking, but at least he had a talent for fun.
but when a young man with a soul on fire like amagi rinne looks at him so timidly, it makes him want.
two souls, that might as well be one. eventually, one might devour the other, but for now— )
There's an easier way to apologize. Let me show you.
( he brings their hands down, intertwining their fingers in rinne's lap.
and then leans in and tilts into him with his shoulder, pink dusting the back of his neck as he tries to kiss him. regardless of whether anyone else is watching, and regardless of how tipsy he is, the bitter taste of whisky still lingering on his lips. )
[ Rinne furrows his brows in confusion. Clueless? But he likes that Rinne is? The words are strange and unfamiliar, especially when strung together like that. Come to think of it, he's younger than Takasugi, young enough to feel the difference between them. Takasugi probably thinks of him as a child: something soft and fragile, always a few steps behind. And it's nothing a king should think about, but sometimes, Rinne thinks it wouldn't be so bad to have someone older to lean on. Someone sharper and steadier who eases the weight of his shoulders. If such a person would like him—soft and clueless as he is—well, that would be nice. No wonder his brother wanted that.
But Rinne wasn’t that clueless. Maybe, like his clever little brother, Rinne knew exactly how this looked and ignored it, counting on Takasugi’s sense of propriety and his goodwill to keep anything from happening. Maybe he could contrive some other innocent reason to be with him. Maybe he thought that Takasugi would never… Right? Despite all appearances, Takasugi is dependable, respectable, and a good person. An idol. Someone who should be out of his reach. But Takasugi looked so lonely that night, and if there was anything Rinne could do to let him know how lovely he looked in the light, he…
Oh.
Oh.
He knew Takasugi was fond of him, but not like this. The kiss is gentler than last time. It's so much softer on his lips, he almost thinks it's a trick. Why kiss him like this? They haven't saved anything or anyone, so he doesn't think he's done anything to deserve it. Are they in a rush? He should take it back, pull away. It's best that Rinne makes him to stay another way. But his hands are in his, and imprinting is a dangerous thing. When Rinne's shameful thoughts start pouring in, there's truly nothing he can do to stop them.
They really shouldn't be doing this.
Because when Rinne melts, all he can think about is how he wanted his own flesh and blood to fold just like this, taking all the love he couldn't give him. They would be doing nothing as terrible as this, of course—God knows Rinne would rather let lightning strike him. But his fingers are still laced together with Takasugi's, his eyes are closed so he can focus on his lips, and if their souls are anything alike…
If Takasugi wants to do something disgraceful, Rinne thinks he should just— ]
( the sin of keeping others near. he knows it well.
rinne was right when he said that touch has a way of keeping people connected to you, even if he's done it countless times without as much intent. sometimes, it was just fine to be present and appreciate the simplicity and beauty of a moment, hands locked so they wouldn't shake. life back then was so fleeting, you see, and no one wanted to admit they were chasing their fears away in the pursuit of each other. nobody wanted to face the fact that tomorrow could be their last, let alone takasugi.
but as a thumb traces the contours of rinne's palm in that adjacent lap, alcohol clinging to the inside of his mouth, takasugi remembers how hard rinne has read him. remembers the pain in his shoulder from being thrown against the wall, the soft sound of each clasp of his top coming undone echoing in his ears now more than ever. they'd been trapped, but everything felt real. they'd gnashed teeth at each other, but he enjoyed it more than a gentle smile looking past him.
think about him forever? he's thinking about him now, a man who couldn't read or write until a couple years past, struggling in a place so foreign. what had that even been like? takasugi can't imagine, his past filled with texts stacked on top of each other, his family lining up his supposed success since birth. can't imagine having his first experiences here, his first kiss. what other firsts of rinne's had he missed out on? and would takasugi be there to witness them?
but maybe the answer doesn't matter right now. he's not thinking about regrets as he brushes their lips gently together, careful not to take too much. he's just focused on how nice a warm breath feels against skin, and how he might want to lap the leftover taste of bourbon straight from rinne's mouth. a tender kiss that isn't just for show this time, a red ear flicking lightly for how it burns in his chest.
takasugi knows he's crossing a line, even as rinne's presence fills him up.
but for their sake, he can keep this transactional. )
( when the blood spills, he draws back, a tad dizzy in the face.
it takes a second for him to register what happened, but only a second. takasugi leans in without a word, tongue reaching eagerly for the red just beneath rinne's nose. cleaning him, as it were. he licks his own upper lip for traces of any remaining blood, not at all perturbed by this, only to say: )
[ Rinne shoves at Takasugi's chest, the distance sudden and all too present. He covers his mouth with a hand to protect it. What was that? The way he licked the blood off his lip was all too hungry to be called mere service.
Rinne doesn't sense any malice from it, though. ]
Shut up. [ He swallows thickly. The bitter taste of their kiss travels down his throat. ] You're the worst.
[ But really, he's only projecting. ]
Is that how it's gonna be? Every time I do something wrong, you kiss me?
[ Oh, Niki was right. Rinne should have been careful with this one. ]
( takasugi reels back from the push, that hand clenching harmlessly in front of him, almost laughing for how this always seems to happen. it's funnier when you're buzzed.
but really, the taste of blood is so intoxicating he almost says something he shouldn't. there were rooms in the back, surely. places for more friction.
which, maybe knocking back that shot so quickly was a bad idea. duly noted, even if he feels like he should drink more to forget that wandering thought. )
[ Rinne is quiet. He swerves away and returns to his drink. Bourbon should be savored slowly, but Rinne doesn't have time for that. He empties his glass, then scrapes the words out of his throat: ]
Stop asking me that.
[ Shouldn't it be obvious? Takasugi is just teasing now. Rinne clicks his tongue as he recalls the breach of trust, the breach of tongue, and the blossoming lust underneath his clothes. It scares Rinne to think about what Takasugi might see should he let go, but... even as the liquor warms his skin and thins his focus, he thinks he can keep this feeling under control. Tonight isn't about him, after all.
Yes, that's right. He should tell him what he meant to say. Thank you. I admire you. I want to be you. How else can I repay you? He had planned on pretending to be drunk for this, but maybe there was no point if Takasugi was going to rub it in his face later. He draws in a breath, parts his lips, and with a touch of exasperation, he says: ]
I've loved you ever since I sang for you. Of course I...
[ God. When's the fun supposed to start? He could have sworn it started a while ago. ]
( will there ever be a more sobering phrase, than "i've loved you since"?
his shoulders droop slightly, the seriousness of the situation hitting like a slap to the face. because the truth is he actually is the worst, stringing rinne along for the ride, prodding for what little affection he could absorb through the bruises on his fingers. it's never exactly been fair to him, he knows, and neither has the way he's bit back, knowing rinne can't retaliate without real consequences.
his chest aches, and there's that familiar fear, the fear that reminds him that he should pull back. that he should drop from the group, and go at it alone, before he ends up ruining things beyond repair. but it's too late. it's too late to stop what's already spun to life, the chapters of this story in another world being written this very moment. he's wringing out his end to see a future for karteria, and a future for amagi rinne. and how will he keep him safe, if he's not close by? a dilemma for sure. )
... Amagi-kun. I might want to kiss you again if you're not careful, or further still.
( where should he look? the floor? the floor seems like a safe bet. his hands and their claws, still lingering with warmth. )
But it's true that you're the only one I trust. You, and no one else. For all the stories you've shared with me, and all the pain you've tolerated and will have to tolerate going forward in knowing me. For having Imprinted on you so deeply.
( for making you love me that much. )
I'm the one who owes you an apology. So, forgive me. For all that's fleeting in this world, I shouldn't be messing with you as much, especially with how much I enjoy your company.
Edited ("living" not entirely) 2025-06-18 03:08 (UTC)
[A wry smile tugs at Rinne’s lips. On some days, he can’t stand Takasugi’s greed, but his remorse is unbearable. No one should have to apologize for wanting some affection. It's true, Takasugi did hurt him. Rinne will acknowledge that. But Takasugi begging for him and apologizing for it is much more than anything his fans or family would have done, so all he has to say is,]
It's okay. You just want someone to treat you gently, right?
[He remembers how Takasugi asked for it. He was so bold about it, it was easy to forget what he had actually said. But Rinne gets it. His laughter is fond.]
I can't always be gentle. Knowing me's a pain in the ass, too. But that's why you love me, doncha?
[Rinne bites his lip, regretting this already, but his smile still reaches his eyes. This is one of the few times he knows he isn't wrong. The alcohol is loosening him up, and he can't help himself…]
Your clansmen shouldn't have been so hard on you in the first place. Pinning all their hopes on one person and treating him like that... Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.
[In fact, between his drunken confessions, he rubs his eyes with the heel of his palm and hopes Takasugi doesn't notice. Takasugi's pain, his own powerlessness—all of it makes him so angry. Rinne was only able to put up with the same because his brother was there. But what good will it do, drowning in his sorrows and wishing things were different? Rinne should tell Takasugi how he feels. No, he should show him. Takasugi might die if he doesn't show him. So Rinne fights the weight in his limbs, the fog in his head, and collapses against Takasugi, chest to chest as warm, unintelligible words slur into the column of his neck.]
that's the first thought that crosses takasugi's mind, before his body goes completely stiff, his neck heating up from the messy, breathy words that are whispered into it. these embraces are always alarming, even when they're not as haphazard as this one, but not in a bad way. he just isn't used to it. isn't used to other men doing more than a clap on the back, or an arm around the shoulder, and so rinne's main way of showing appreciation has always been something to stop and give him pause. like a song he's gotten hooked on, slowly weaving its way into the essence of who he is.
warm enough to choke what he wants to say in his throat, takasugi suddenly feeling more embarrassed than sullen. be gentle with him? that thing he joked about months ago? obviously, he wasn't... but rinne— )
It's not as bad as you make it sound. And it all happened so long ago. I had Kusaka, and... he—
( ... and it's here where he lifts a hand to rub rinne's back, trying to be soothing. claws dragging lightly against the fabric. it's obvious which one of them can hold their liquor more, with or without the declaration that sobered him up in a flash.
takasugi's reds travel to the ceiling and away, and he really shouldn't be so juvenile. he's the older one. the one to give an inspiring lecture, or at least proceed with uplifting his junior here, who was really becoming someone much more than that, wasn't he? )
I could say not to stress about it, but with the way I talk about the past, it's clearly been on your mind. Tonight... I'll make it up to you. Carry you home, so there won't be any problem. Alright? So, no need to feel sorry for me.
( rinne, who had showed up so cutely at his door to celebrate. across this planet, and across space, they'd somehow met. )
[Rinne hums against Takasugi's neck, pressing a drunken smile into his flushed skin. Are they hugging? Won't Takasugi hug him tighter? He knows he can't force anyone to do anything they don't want to do, but maybe he can nudge him in the right direction. What direction is that? A drunk person doesn't always know where they're going, so he's not sure. But he knows that wherever they're going is starting to feel really good. He might regret it later.]
If you work too hard, it'll turn you sad and stupid. C'mon, Prez. Just relax and let me do it.
[Let him carry Takasugi back, nothing him more. That's all that this is about.
But when Rinne's draped over the man like a ragdoll, it's clear that Rinne is in no shape to be caring for anyone else. But he's better than nothing, isn't he? Takasugi's friends have been dead for more than a century, but that's not what's going to keep Takasugi in this world, so...
As Rinne breathes Takasugi in, his thumb softly massages the nape of his neck.]
I love you, so I'll do anything for you... You know that, right?
[Maybe it's unfair to say, but after knowing nothing but frustration and hate, Rinne can't stop saying it.]
Edited (typo also I don't remember typing any of this so) 2025-06-18 20:25 (UTC)
( wait, wait, wait. now he's going stiff in a different way, which, over this? takasugi may have gone home tonight and touched himself to the memory of all that blood on his tongue, but over multiple declarations of heartfelt affection? he's never been so easy, steadfast at least in matters of tenderness, or so he thought, but it's hard to ignore the way rinne's scent fills the barest space between them and overpowers the smell of alcohol and smoke, their bodies flush against each other. he stops rubbing rinne's larger back to still a satisfied sound in his throat, only to then give in and hold them tight together on his own, like he's trying to steal the warmth that's passing into his body.
because of course he's enjoying it.
of course he's loving this.
he can't stop it any longer, the way a brief shudder wracks his body from the touch on his neck. but he instigated all this, didn't he, in a way? with the way he craved to push rinne over the edge, controlling the flow of the conversation with his teasing. the way he had thoughts about this, however brief and under the influence. )
I—
( anything? don't say that. keep that to yourself for now, not that he can control what goes on past this evening.
wasn't he getting married? wasn't he a monarch from some village, where he couldn't mesh so intimately with outsiders? and yet, something's clicked in place. something's different. it's easy to get lost in someone else's sorrow, and he's let rinne in too much. and when did that all start? the moment rinne held him the first time, or the moment they locked eyes in that room, with takasugi pinned beneath him? he can't decide. can't do much besides try to ignore what's in his lap as he rests his head on rinne's shoulder, the bartender having all but vanished for how their augmented patrons are feeling each other up. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
takasugi turns his hand, lifts the glass slightly to signal the bartender to top him up, and then pays close attention to how rinne chooses his words.
always careful, this one, until takasugi tries to reach beneath the armor and rip it off. he sips a little more slowly at the refill this time, the sting in his throat more than he expected. still, they never held back during his time; the guys in his company always let loose without a second thought. he felt the same—getting together with drinks should be a fun time.
and so— )
Ahhh. And that's what I don't get—why you're always jumping to some conclusion without consulting me first. You think you're going to... what, ruin my vibe?
( sip. )
When I said we'd shake things up in this boring world together? I don't say that to just anyone, you know. If I thought you were less than what I saw originally, then true, I would've cut ties by now. But I'm still here. Anyhow, it's partly research into our fellow Augmented, and partly building the capital to secure us a small area for performing, among other things. Like a camera-man who's frankly a bit annoying, I'll admit, next to the fact that his work is solid.
( it's the truth, even if he doesn't mention all his methods. the pleasant thrum of alcohol is slowly working its way into his head. )
1/3
[ And that's the thing. Rinne doesn't want to be everyone. And he knows this isn't the first time Takasugi's said this. Time and again, he'd always tell Rinne he was good. That he was enough. But even Takasugi had expectations, and Rinne wasn't always confident he could meet them, and...
Why is Rinne so hung up over what Takasugi thinks, anyway?
He takes another sip. ]
But a cameraman, huh? [ Rinne smiles at the thought. Will the cameraman tell him how good he looks on stage? Niki only cares about food and Takasugi's stingy in that department, so he hasn't exactly gotten any feedback on that. ] And here I thought we were just gonna rawdog our marketing 'til we went viral. Heh! Maybe being under your agency ain't so bad♪
Yeah, that's it. I work under you, so you're taking care of me. That's a real boss for ya! Niki takes care of me too, but that's kinda different. Niki wouldn't give a fuck if I went home and threw up on him right now. But you...
2/3
[ For some reason, his chest hurts. ]
3/3
[ Distract. Deflect. Anything to make this conversation a little easier. Anyway, wasn't this night supposed to be fun? ]
Why? [ He smirks. ] Don't trust 'em like you trust your Rinne-kun?
( 1 / 2 )
now it is hitting, the way his fingertips catch the condensation on the glass a bit more distracting. and why's he being challenged at a time like this, when he was already swallowing the embarrassment of being paid out by a younger man to come here? when he had been caught bouncing on his heels, rushing out the door blindly to find some common ground and be caught up in the whirlwind that was amagi rinne?
to mess with him, and pull the information he wanted out of him forcibly. that's what was so fun originally. now it feels like...
the question turns in his mind over and over, gaze slowly drifting away and to the countertop. )
( 2 / 2 )
he starts messing with that mop of dark red hair, using a free hand to scratch lightly at one of rinne's ears. )
Always trying to bite the hand that feeds you. But that's what makes you so charming, isn't it? There, there, Amagi-kun. No one in Valentia even comes close to you. You're handsome, and you've got a voice that would make anyone want to kiss you on the mouth.
( did he think he forgot the praise part? takasugi's face is flush with drink. )
no subject
?!?!!?
??!?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!??
Now Rinne's the one red in the face. ]
I wasn't jealous.
[ He doesn't stop Takasugi, though. He just sits there, lowers his head, and takes it. Rarely does he feel someone's touch and allow it without consequence. But if it's Takasugi, it's fine. Maybe it's the imprinting? Maybe it's the way his Natural Soul has forged his body anew. Whatever it is, when Takasugi scratches behind his ears and praises him, it feels... nice. He would bite again as he always does, but he thinks about why Takasugi is doing this to begin with, and he relents. After all, if he were in Takasugi's place, he would want himself to accept what he was being given. Sometimes it's an even bigger joy than receiving.
Case in point: ]
D-don't let 'em kiss me...
( 1 / 2 )
"have fun with me instead". )
And how would you have me stop them? Take all those kisses for myself?
( it's a joke. amagi-kun's a graceful creature, despite all his sharp edges, and so takasugi knows he'll get it. probably.
he draws his hand down, thumb caressing the edge of rinne's cheek. it's softer than he remembers, when he's not trying to push him away and fill the space between them with distance. it makes him miss something, but he's not even sure what he's missing, doing this, the cotton sensation in his head getting more prominent.
best not to press too hard, anyhow, when an idol's selling point was also their face. )
Send them my way in the future, and I'll take care of it. That's a manager's job, right? To keep my cute subordinates from getting too overwhelmed. Only, ...
( 2 / 2 )
he's always found it easy to act like he has no intentions when he actually does. that was the beauty of negotiating, wasn't it? blending truths with lies. only takasugi's not sure anymore, when this bittersweet feeling washes over him like the mood on a rainy day, brows furrowing slightly. he could write a poem to get all these feelings out, but even that seems a little silly right now.
he opts to pat rinne on the cheek, and then, almost in a pout: )
You said you didn't need me.
no subject
[ Rinne blurts it out before Takasugi can finish his sentence and declare its reality. It's not like that. That's not what he meant. He only said that because he... Nevermind. As if he could ever tell Takasugi that. Before Rinne can admit to something even more damning, he leans into the man's palm and holds it in his own. Chases the warmth before he takes it back or loses it entirely. ]
We're nothing like family, so I don't ask you to carry my burdens, but who else would put up with me?
no subject
( the word thrums in his ears like the slow pluck of an instrument. distant yet near. )
That's a deal more binding than a word or a touch, don't you think?
( and he can't be here forever. can't absorb this warmth for a minute eternity, rinne leaning into his touch.
he didn't mean for this to turn a touch solemn with his complaint, but what else can he do? it's lonely. it's lonely, to bask in a glow and be reminded of the fact that he isn't someone to lean on. the faint red on his cheeks will fade with time and sleep, but maybe this selfishness won't. )
But you don't have to see it as me carrying a burden. Just... blame me for what I'm about to do instead.
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Once again, Rinne keeps this light. ]
Or we could blame it on the summer heat?
[ Niki said they had a song that went like that.
Rinne finally lifts his shy eyes to meet Takasugi's, but the contact is too much. He looks at the hand on his cheek again, hoping that when his face burns hot, Takasugi doesn't read into it. ]
I ain't about to make your body carry more than it has to. What the hell could you even do now? Honestly, I just wanted to thank you and apologize...
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Your generous heart that breaks so easily when I push. Your hands, warm like a soft star.
( or at least, compared to his that tend to run cold.
which, don't worry about his body so much. in fact, quit worrying about it. not that he can say that right now, or even want to bring attention to it. he knows it's in rinne's face all the time, the shudders in his body so obvious with the change of weather. the way he almost stumbles after a long day of field research, or practice, and there's really nothing for it right now. but they should be focusing on happier things. they should be wasted, stamping on the countertop with song and dance. that's how this night was supposed to go, at least in takasugi's head. he never had a talent with drinking, but at least he had a talent for fun.
but when a young man with a soul on fire like amagi rinne looks at him so timidly, it makes him want.
two souls, that might as well be one. eventually, one might devour the other, but for now— )
There's an easier way to apologize. Let me show you.
( he brings their hands down, intertwining their fingers in rinne's lap.
and then leans in and tilts into him with his shoulder, pink dusting the back of his neck as he tries to kiss him. regardless of whether anyone else is watching, and regardless of how tipsy he is, the bitter taste of whisky still lingering on his lips. )
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But Rinne wasn’t that clueless. Maybe, like his clever little brother, Rinne knew exactly how this looked and ignored it, counting on Takasugi’s sense of propriety and his goodwill to keep anything from happening. Maybe he could contrive some other innocent reason to be with him. Maybe he thought that Takasugi would never… Right? Despite all appearances, Takasugi is dependable, respectable, and a good person. An idol. Someone who should be out of his reach. But Takasugi looked so lonely that night, and if there was anything Rinne could do to let him know how lovely he looked in the light, he…
Oh.
Oh.
He knew Takasugi was fond of him, but not like this. The kiss is gentler than last time. It's so much softer on his lips, he almost thinks it's a trick. Why kiss him like this? They haven't saved anything or anyone, so he doesn't think he's done anything to deserve it. Are they in a rush? He should take it back, pull away. It's best that Rinne makes him to stay another way. But his hands are in his, and imprinting is a dangerous thing. When Rinne's shameful thoughts start pouring in, there's truly nothing he can do to stop them.
They really shouldn't be doing this.
Because when Rinne melts, all he can think about is how he wanted his own flesh and blood to fold just like this, taking all the love he couldn't give him. They would be doing nothing as terrible as this, of course—God knows Rinne would rather let lightning strike him. But his fingers are still laced together with Takasugi's, his eyes are closed so he can focus on his lips, and if their souls are anything alike…
If Takasugi wants to do something disgraceful, Rinne thinks he should just— ]
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Ah...
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rinne was right when he said that touch has a way of keeping people connected to you, even if he's done it countless times without as much intent. sometimes, it was just fine to be present and appreciate the simplicity and beauty of a moment, hands locked so they wouldn't shake. life back then was so fleeting, you see, and no one wanted to admit they were chasing their fears away in the pursuit of each other. nobody wanted to face the fact that tomorrow could be their last, let alone takasugi.
but as a thumb traces the contours of rinne's palm in that adjacent lap, alcohol clinging to the inside of his mouth, takasugi remembers how hard rinne has read him. remembers the pain in his shoulder from being thrown against the wall, the soft sound of each clasp of his top coming undone echoing in his ears now more than ever. they'd been trapped, but everything felt real. they'd gnashed teeth at each other, but he enjoyed it more than a gentle smile looking past him.
think about him forever? he's thinking about him now, a man who couldn't read or write until a couple years past, struggling in a place so foreign. what had that even been like? takasugi can't imagine, his past filled with texts stacked on top of each other, his family lining up his supposed success since birth. can't imagine having his first experiences here, his first kiss. what other firsts of rinne's had he missed out on? and would takasugi be there to witness them?
but maybe the answer doesn't matter right now. he's not thinking about regrets as he brushes their lips gently together, careful not to take too much. he's just focused on how nice a warm breath feels against skin, and how he might want to lap the leftover taste of bourbon straight from rinne's mouth. a tender kiss that isn't just for show this time, a red ear flicking lightly for how it burns in his chest.
takasugi knows he's crossing a line, even as rinne's presence fills him up.
but for their sake, he can keep this transactional. )
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it takes a second for him to register what happened, but only a second. takasugi leans in without a word, tongue reaching eagerly for the red just beneath rinne's nose. cleaning him, as it were. he licks his own upper lip for traces of any remaining blood, not at all perturbed by this, only to say: )
Oh? Maybe you are a pervert, after all.
( you know. casually. )
Anyhow, apology accepted.
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Rinne doesn't sense any malice from it, though. ]
Shut up. [ He swallows thickly. The bitter taste of their kiss travels down his throat. ] You're the worst.
[ But really, he's only projecting. ]
Is that how it's gonna be? Every time I do something wrong, you kiss me?
[ Oh, Niki was right. Rinne should have been careful with this one. ]
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( takasugi reels back from the push, that hand clenching harmlessly in front of him, almost laughing for how this always seems to happen. it's funnier when you're buzzed.
but really, the taste of blood is so intoxicating he almost says something he shouldn't. there were rooms in the back, surely. places for more friction.
which, maybe knocking back that shot so quickly was a bad idea. duly noted, even if he feels like he should drink more to forget that wandering thought. )
So, you're saying you didn't like it?
( two can play at the game of deflecting. )
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Stop asking me that.
[ Shouldn't it be obvious? Takasugi is just teasing now. Rinne clicks his tongue as he recalls the breach of trust, the breach of tongue, and the blossoming lust underneath his clothes. It scares Rinne to think about what Takasugi might see should he let go, but... even as the liquor warms his skin and thins his focus, he thinks he can keep this feeling under control. Tonight isn't about him, after all.
Yes, that's right. He should tell him what he meant to say. Thank you. I admire you. I want to be you. How else can I repay you? He had planned on pretending to be drunk for this, but maybe there was no point if Takasugi was going to rub it in his face later. He draws in a breath, parts his lips, and with a touch of exasperation, he says: ]
I've loved you ever since I sang for you. Of course I...
[ God. When's the fun supposed to start? He could have sworn it started a while ago. ]
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his shoulders droop slightly, the seriousness of the situation hitting like a slap to the face. because the truth is he actually is the worst, stringing rinne along for the ride, prodding for what little affection he could absorb through the bruises on his fingers. it's never exactly been fair to him, he knows, and neither has the way he's bit back, knowing rinne can't retaliate without real consequences.
his chest aches, and there's that familiar fear, the fear that reminds him that he should pull back. that he should drop from the group, and go at it alone, before he ends up ruining things beyond repair. but it's too late. it's too late to stop what's already spun to life, the chapters of this story in another world being written this very moment. he's wringing out his end to see a future for karteria, and a future for amagi rinne. and how will he keep him safe, if he's not close by? a dilemma for sure. )
... Amagi-kun. I might want to kiss you again if you're not careful, or further still.
( where should he look? the floor? the floor seems like a safe bet. his hands and their claws, still lingering with warmth. )
But it's true that you're the only one I trust. You, and no one else. For all the stories you've shared with me, and all the pain you've tolerated and will have to tolerate going forward in knowing me. For having Imprinted on you so deeply.
( for making you love me that much. )
I'm the one who owes you an apology. So, forgive me. For all that's fleeting in this world, I shouldn't be messing with you as much, especially with how much I enjoy your company.
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It's okay. You just want someone to treat you gently, right?
[He remembers how Takasugi asked for it. He was so bold about it, it was easy to forget what he had actually said. But Rinne gets it. His laughter is fond.]
I can't always be gentle. Knowing me's a pain in the ass, too. But that's why you love me, doncha?
[Rinne bites his lip, regretting this already, but his smile still reaches his eyes. This is one of the few times he knows he isn't wrong. The alcohol is loosening him up, and he can't help himself…]
Your clansmen shouldn't have been so hard on you in the first place. Pinning all their hopes on one person and treating him like that... Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.
[In fact, between his drunken confessions, he rubs his eyes with the heel of his palm and hopes Takasugi doesn't notice. Takasugi's pain, his own powerlessness—all of it makes him so angry. Rinne was only able to put up with the same because his brother was there. But what good will it do, drowning in his sorrows and wishing things were different? Rinne should tell Takasugi how he feels. No, he should show him. Takasugi might die if he doesn't show him. So Rinne fights the weight in his limbs, the fog in his head, and collapses against Takasugi, chest to chest as warm, unintelligible words slur into the column of his neck.]
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that's the first thought that crosses takasugi's mind, before his body goes completely stiff, his neck heating up from the messy, breathy words that are whispered into it. these embraces are always alarming, even when they're not as haphazard as this one, but not in a bad way. he just isn't used to it. isn't used to other men doing more than a clap on the back, or an arm around the shoulder, and so rinne's main way of showing appreciation has always been something to stop and give him pause. like a song he's gotten hooked on, slowly weaving its way into the essence of who he is.
warm enough to choke what he wants to say in his throat, takasugi suddenly feeling more embarrassed than sullen. be gentle with him? that thing he joked about months ago? obviously, he wasn't... but rinne— )
It's not as bad as you make it sound. And it all happened so long ago. I had Kusaka, and... he—
( ... and it's here where he lifts a hand to rub rinne's back, trying to be soothing. claws dragging lightly against the fabric. it's obvious which one of them can hold their liquor more, with or without the declaration that sobered him up in a flash.
takasugi's reds travel to the ceiling and away, and he really shouldn't be so juvenile. he's the older one. the one to give an inspiring lecture, or at least proceed with uplifting his junior here, who was really becoming someone much more than that, wasn't he? )
I could say not to stress about it, but with the way I talk about the past, it's clearly been on your mind. Tonight... I'll make it up to you. Carry you home, so there won't be any problem. Alright? So, no need to feel sorry for me.
( rinne, who had showed up so cutely at his door to celebrate. across this planet, and across space, they'd somehow met. )
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[Rinne hums against Takasugi's neck, pressing a drunken smile into his flushed skin. Are they hugging? Won't Takasugi hug him tighter? He knows he can't force anyone to do anything they don't want to do, but maybe he can nudge him in the right direction. What direction is that? A drunk person doesn't always know where they're going, so he's not sure. But he knows that wherever they're going is starting to feel really good. He might regret it later.]
If you work too hard, it'll turn you sad and stupid. C'mon, Prez. Just relax and let me do it.
[Let him carry Takasugi back, nothing him more. That's all that this is about.
But when Rinne's draped over the man like a ragdoll, it's clear that Rinne is in no shape to be caring for anyone else. But he's better than nothing, isn't he? Takasugi's friends have been dead for more than a century, but that's not what's going to keep Takasugi in this world, so...
As Rinne breathes Takasugi in, his thumb softly massages the nape of his neck.]
I love you, so I'll do anything for you... You know that, right?
[Maybe it's unfair to say, but after knowing nothing but frustration and hate, Rinne can't stop saying it.]
🔞-ish mentions ig ( 1 / 2 )
because of course he's enjoying it.
of course he's loving this.
he can't stop it any longer, the way a brief shudder wracks his body from the touch on his neck. but he instigated all this, didn't he, in a way? with the way he craved to push rinne over the edge, controlling the flow of the conversation with his teasing. the way he had thoughts about this, however brief and under the influence. )
I—
( anything? don't say that. keep that to yourself for now, not that he can control what goes on past this evening.
wasn't he getting married? wasn't he a monarch from some village, where he couldn't mesh so intimately with outsiders? and yet, something's clicked in place. something's different. it's easy to get lost in someone else's sorrow, and he's let rinne in too much. and when did that all start? the moment rinne held him the first time, or the moment they locked eyes in that room, with takasugi pinned beneath him? he can't decide. can't do much besides try to ignore what's in his lap as he rests his head on rinne's shoulder, the bartender having all but vanished for how their augmented patrons are feeling each other up. )
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