The part where my tail was up and I stained my skirt.
[The heat part. The “she’d been obviously excited just because someone who smelled male came close to her” part.]
Please, Master Takasugi… I’m asking nicely. Please don’t tell anyone my heats have gotten that strong here.
[- Not that she had them? No, she’s been dealing with the mild inconveniences of her kind’s breeding season every month from spring to fall since she came of age, she doesn’t think she could stop anyone who knew things about equine anatomy from guessing or assuming she might have them in general, but here it’s…]
You… said you wanted eggs, right? I can bribe you, if that’s what it takes…
it's going to take him a bit to reply. sorry. her... heat? right. he heard that properly. it's just taking a second for his mind to catch up with the implications, for his memory to recall every specific movement. excited over him? like, in that way? she wouldn't be the first and definitely wouldn't be the last, but— )
No, no, no. Wait a minute. Bribe me for my silence over something so private to begin with? Do I seem like the kind of man who'd just blurt out a secret like that? ... Maybe if it was funny, but this is anything but.
( for clarification. )
Don't even worry about it. This is a secret I'll take to my grave, as long as I'm here.
[... Does he sound like that sort of man? She says it with another apology, because her (adopted) farmer parents hadn't raised their daughter to lose her to kirisute gomen, but-]
I'm sorry, Master Takasugi, but you just said you would tell people about the plucking, so how am I supposed to know...
[Whether he would justify it by saying it was for her own good, or it was funny, or... Even if she wanted to trust him, and did enough to come shamelessly begging, she isn't foolish enough to think she automatically could when they've only known each other a short time.]
I don't think I can keep it a secret forever, but I just-
[There's a little sound in the back of her throat, something frustrated and upset that she chokes down. Knowing that equine heats already were so visually obvious (to anyone who knew animal behavior), then whatever the "Natural Soul" was doing...]
I've always tried really hard to prove to people that jinba aren't animals, and now this...
So, maybe I did say that, literally just a moment ago. But that's that, and this is this. I don't think—
( there's another pause in transmission, and maybe it's easy to pick up the sound of him tapping his face with a hand.
like, come on, shinsaku. being gentle with words might not be enough in this situation, especially with that deference he never asked for. it's easy for him to leave those sort of customs behind, but her... )
I don't think being pent-up is the same as harming yourself. That's all. Unless there's some frenzied ritual involved in the... involved in this, that I'm not aware of.
Edited (tksg blanking out: do i say breeding or not?) Date: 2025-07-10 11:46 pm (UTC)
( okay. choshu men do have a certain reputation. that he's just going to ignore right now!!! CLEARLY NOT RELEVANT!!!!!! )
I'm trying to be considerate to your feelings here, but if I can outright say "breeding" season, then alright. Breeding season. You're not an animal, obviously, but it's obviously got to be different from how...
Well. You don't have to answer that. Simple as, I won't tell anyone. You've got my word.
[She almost just protests, immediate reactions difficult to control in the fluster of the moment, but... What he says does sober her. Enough, at least, to say first,]
... Thank you.
[For being considerate. For saying she doesn't have to answer... even though she really, really does now because she's afraid if she doesn't he might make an assumption. (Anyone would, not just him, she thinks-)]
But. I'm going to answer. I don't want you to have any weird ideas. It's different.
[From how humans just... went about their lives all the time unaffected by such cyclical biological urges. From how horses, as beasts, simply indulged in the instinct to rut and mount anything of a matching sex that proved itself strong enough or worthy enough.]
Just because we go into heat... we're people-minded. We don't have to do everything our bodies want to, even if it... even if it's hard to focus or it's distracting or overheated or uncomfortable or people smell really good...
[Focus, Konoha-]
I've never slipped up, so it's...
[...]
Thank you for giving me your word. Without me explaining it... people will just compare to me a horse again. I... really hate that.
far more gentle than someone like takasugi, who might hold this against her if it were far more valuable information. )
Say I kept this other thing secret. What sort of hero of Choshu would I be to turn a blind eye to this sort of suffering? Though. I suppose if you want to keep picking them and make a cushion out of it, that's your choice.
( and they all have their own battles to fight, in the end. he would want it kept a secret, too, most likely. )
[A blind eye... she mulls it over a moment, her thumbs rubbing along the side of her Syntrofos. She should probably... If she just joked that, yup, he's right, she was just trying to make a cushion, haha... ! Maybe he would just joke back, she could fake laugh, and then she could hang up the phone and go to work and pretend this went well and just start avoiding him and forget it ever happened. But. Selfishly, the idea of cutting away one of the few people in this place who could say things like "hero of Choshu"...]
I mean... you don't have to pretend it never happened or something weird. I wouldn't ask that.
[It's different asking someone to keep a matter private than it is to basically ask them to lie to her and to themselves.]
... I just thought that... maybe I could slow down the "corruption". I don't want to be...
[She would think that surely everyone was that way, uncomfortable and afraid of their bodies changing, but... she can't assume that, can she.]
Master Takasugi, do you like your "natural soul"... ?
( there's some slight trepidation on the other end from takasugi for once over a question no one's asked him.
there are things about his natural soul he can't find it in him to burden anyone with. not even the single person in karteria he's given all of his trust to. a deep, harboring need for revenge that might see this place razed before takasugi could ever commit to that himself for his own interests. the shape of it is malevolent, and not capricious in the way that takasugi is. his teases one of his sharp canines with his tongue, lost in thought for a moment.
but gradually, his voice returns: as annoyingly confident as ever. )
I mean, don't I look pretty cool? There are a few things that could be better. The overwhelming drive for meat-related products, for one. I miss the simple joys, like a side of pickles, and... I suppose one can still get that, but it isn't in the cards as much for me anymore. It doesn't taste the same. There's also the odd hours I spend awake at night. These odd urges that creep in from someplace beyond me. But that's only making my stay in this world more interesting, isn't it? This challenge I've got to overcome. However I might change on the outside, I won't ever change on the inside.
[He sounds confident. He usually does. But for the first time in this conversation… so does Konoha.]
I think Master Takasugi looked the most cool when I first met him.
[When he had appeared out of nowhere to “save” her from a berating by a native. When he hadn’t been Corrupted yet. And even if that was true or not true…]
[He had… claws, ears, tail… things that were far more permanent and bloody to remove than feathers. She wants to think she wouldn’t be doing what she was, if she were in a similar situation. That she wouldn’t hurt herself like that, something so bloody and painful. But just plucking-]
… I just thought it could maybe change something for me.
( he isn't sure what to say to that, honestly. it isn't in him to hurt her feelings on the matter.
life has already been tough on her, and it's likely to stay that way for them in karteria, but— )
Even if things don’t turn out the way you hoped, it doesn't mean you need to bear the burden of it alone. That applies to any time, any world we might face. A sweet girl like you has to have made some friends already, right? Me included.
[But she sounds... it's unclear, perhaps, what she means by that. そんなに甘くないのよ... could be "sweet" just as easily as it could be "naive".]
I'm grateful there are nice people here... and people who have been kind to me, and offered me their friendship. But they already... [Not all of them, certainly, but enough-] They already are trying to protect me from all the upsetting things about this place.
I can tell.
So if I tell them... They'll be right to be doing it. To do it even more. To never tell me when they're upset and when they need help because they don't want to burden me anymore. And I don't want that.
[- Did he understand? Or was a hero of Choshu unfamiliar with such a position? Of being the one who smiled, simple, sweet, and slightly stupid.]
Not to worry. Given the flow of the conversation and how I might come across if I don’t share this with you, I will. It won't change the matter of things, or really burden you in the long run, so it's fine. Explaining it can be a hassle at times, is all, and... I wasn't really feeling it before.
( the real burden in knowing him is elsewhere. )
I'm a hero of Choshu beyond your time, but one summoned past his death, essentially. One whose deeds might be seen as virtuous or villainous depending on your perspective at the time. I did all sorts of cool, crazy nonsense to push for change against the Shogunate, but it only really paid off later. Still, I was notorious enough to nab a permanent spot in history for myself, so it wasn't all for nothing now that I'm here, right?
[Takasugi says... a lot of things, just then. It stands out, because for the first time... he is saying things that don't make sense to her, when up until now he is a been a somewhat treasured experience of normalcy amongst all this insanity. She's joked to more than one person, that everyone she seems to meet is some important hero or prince or adventurer, and she was just a farmer.
Looks like she can add something new to the list.]
So... so you're a lingering spirit? You got summoned? By who?
Uhm. I figured the desires of this world in general did, but that would make a whole lot more sense, wouldn't it? You're an interesting girl to say that out-loud, though.
But it's a romantic idea, isn't it? That some form of humanity could bring forth a hero from the past to save them in all their struggle. But anyhow, I'm getting off track. This really wasn't about me to begin with.
( takasugi exhales lightly on the other end of the call, but it's a sound that's barely audible. )
Fine. I won't share either of these issues with anyone. But if it’s something that actually puts your life at risk at some point, I can't make any promises.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2025-07-10 12:08 am (UTC)[The heat part. The “she’d been obviously excited just because someone who smelled male came close to her” part.]
Please, Master Takasugi… I’m asking nicely. Please don’t tell anyone my heats have gotten that strong here.
[- Not that she had them? No, she’s been dealing with the mild inconveniences of her kind’s breeding season every month from spring to fall since she came of age, she doesn’t think she could stop anyone who knew things about equine anatomy from guessing or assuming she might have them in general, but here it’s…]
You… said you wanted eggs, right? I can bribe you, if that’s what it takes…
( 1 / 2 )
Date: 2025-07-10 03:27 pm (UTC)it's going to take him a bit to reply. sorry. her... heat? right. he heard that properly. it's just taking a second for his mind to catch up with the implications, for his memory to recall every specific movement. excited over him? like, in that way? she wouldn't be the first and definitely wouldn't be the last, but— )
( 2 / 2 )
Date: 2025-07-10 03:35 pm (UTC)( for clarification. )
Don't even worry about it. This is a secret I'll take to my grave, as long as I'm here.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-10 08:22 pm (UTC)I'm sorry, Master Takasugi, but you just said you would tell people about the plucking, so how am I supposed to know...
[Whether he would justify it by saying it was for her own good, or it was funny, or... Even if she wanted to trust him, and did enough to come shamelessly begging, she isn't foolish enough to think she automatically could when they've only known each other a short time.]
I don't think I can keep it a secret forever, but I just-
[There's a little sound in the back of her throat, something frustrated and upset that she chokes down. Knowing that equine heats already were so visually obvious (to anyone who knew animal behavior), then whatever the "Natural Soul" was doing...]
I've always tried really hard to prove to people that jinba aren't animals, and now this...
no subject
Date: 2025-07-10 11:39 pm (UTC)So, maybe I did say that, literally just a moment ago. But that's that, and this is this. I don't think—
( there's another pause in transmission, and maybe it's easy to pick up the sound of him tapping his face with a hand.
like, come on, shinsaku. being gentle with words might not be enough in this situation, especially with that deference he never asked for. it's easy for him to leave those sort of customs behind, but her... )
I don't think being pent-up is the same as harming yourself. That's all. Unless there's some frenzied ritual involved in the... involved in this, that I'm not aware of.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-11 12:48 am (UTC)F- "frenzied ritual"... ?
[Wait... what is he imagining??? Something violent? Something weird and deviant??? Something s- sexy... ?]
What... what do you think breeding season is? Do- What are they doing down in Choshu... ? I heard Choshu men were wild, but...
[... On the plus side, it seems she can say "breeding" once the topic has been well and truly broached???]
no subject
Date: 2025-07-11 05:07 pm (UTC)I'm trying to be considerate to your feelings here, but if I can outright say "breeding" season, then alright. Breeding season. You're not an animal, obviously, but it's obviously got to be different from how...
Well. You don't have to answer that. Simple as, I won't tell anyone. You've got my word.
1/2
Date: 2025-07-11 05:53 pm (UTC)... Thank you.
[For being considerate. For saying she doesn't have to answer... even though she really, really does now because she's afraid if she doesn't he might make an assumption. (Anyone would, not just him, she thinks-)]
But. I'm going to answer. I don't want you to have any weird ideas. It's different.
[From how humans just... went about their lives all the time unaffected by such cyclical biological urges. From how horses, as beasts, simply indulged in the instinct to rut and mount anything of a matching sex that proved itself strong enough or worthy enough.]
Just because we go into heat... we're people-minded. We don't have to do everything our bodies want to, even if it... even if it's hard to focus or it's distracting or overheated or uncomfortable or people smell really good...
[Focus, Konoha-]
I've never slipped up, so it's...
[...]
Thank you for giving me your word. Without me explaining it... people will just compare to me a horse again. I... really hate that.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-11 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-14 04:15 pm (UTC)far more gentle than someone like takasugi, who might hold this against her if it were far more valuable information. )
Say I kept this other thing secret. What sort of hero of Choshu would I be to turn a blind eye to this sort of suffering? Though. I suppose if you want to keep picking them and make a cushion out of it, that's your choice.
( and they all have their own battles to fight, in the end. he would want it kept a secret, too, most likely. )
no subject
Date: 2025-07-14 07:29 pm (UTC)I mean... you don't have to pretend it never happened or something weird. I wouldn't ask that.
[It's different asking someone to keep a matter private than it is to basically ask them to lie to her and to themselves.]
... I just thought that... maybe I could slow down the "corruption". I don't want to be...
[She would think that surely everyone was that way, uncomfortable and afraid of their bodies changing, but... she can't assume that, can she.]
Master Takasugi, do you like your "natural soul"... ?
no subject
Date: 2025-07-14 09:31 pm (UTC)there are things about his natural soul he can't find it in him to burden anyone with. not even the single person in karteria he's given all of his trust to. a deep, harboring need for revenge that might see this place razed before takasugi could ever commit to that himself for his own interests. the shape of it is malevolent, and not capricious in the way that takasugi is. his teases one of his sharp canines with his tongue, lost in thought for a moment.
but gradually, his voice returns: as annoyingly confident as ever. )
I mean, don't I look pretty cool? There are a few things that could be better. The overwhelming drive for meat-related products, for one. I miss the simple joys, like a side of pickles, and... I suppose one can still get that, but it isn't in the cards as much for me anymore. It doesn't taste the same. There's also the odd hours I spend awake at night. These odd urges that creep in from someplace beyond me. But that's only making my stay in this world more interesting, isn't it? This challenge I've got to overcome. However I might change on the outside, I won't ever change on the inside.
( for better or for worse. )
no subject
Date: 2025-07-14 11:29 pm (UTC)I think Master Takasugi looked the most cool when I first met him.
[When he had appeared out of nowhere to “save” her from a berating by a native. When he hadn’t been Corrupted yet. And even if that was true or not true…]
… And that’s not what I asked.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-14 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-14 11:40 pm (UTC)[He had… claws, ears, tail… things that were far more permanent and bloody to remove than feathers. She wants to think she wouldn’t be doing what she was, if she were in a similar situation. That she wouldn’t hurt herself like that, something so bloody and painful. But just plucking-]
… I just thought it could maybe change something for me.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-15 07:54 pm (UTC)life has already been tough on her, and it's likely to stay that way for them in karteria, but— )
Even if things don’t turn out the way you hoped, it doesn't mean you need to bear the burden of it alone. That applies to any time, any world we might face. A sweet girl like you has to have made some friends already, right? Me included.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-16 03:13 am (UTC)[But she sounds... it's unclear, perhaps, what she means by that. そんなに甘くないのよ... could be "sweet" just as easily as it could be "naive".]
I'm grateful there are nice people here... and people who have been kind to me, and offered me their friendship. But they already... [Not all of them, certainly, but enough-] They already are trying to protect me from all the upsetting things about this place.
I can tell.
So if I tell them... They'll be right to be doing it. To do it even more. To never tell me when they're upset and when they need help because they don't want to burden me anymore. And I don't want that.
[- Did he understand? Or was a hero of Choshu unfamiliar with such a position? Of being the one who smiled, simple, sweet, and slightly stupid.]
no subject
Date: 2025-07-17 01:14 am (UTC)( his efforts toward a certain someone play through his mind. )
I'm not really the right person to give you advice on how to stop that. After all, I never clarified in person what I meant by "past my death".
no subject
Date: 2025-07-17 01:20 am (UTC)She doesn't ask him to or demand that he clarify. But just in case he might... she says only,]
...
No, you didn't.
[And if he doesn't again... Well, that's just how it is.]
no subject
Date: 2025-07-17 04:53 pm (UTC)( the real burden in knowing him is elsewhere. )
I'm a hero of Choshu beyond your time, but one summoned past his death, essentially. One whose deeds might be seen as virtuous or villainous depending on your perspective at the time. I did all sorts of cool, crazy nonsense to push for change against the Shogunate, but it only really paid off later. Still, I was notorious enough to nab a permanent spot in history for myself, so it wasn't all for nothing now that I'm here, right?
1/2
Date: 2025-07-18 07:05 pm (UTC)Looks like she can add something new to the list.]
So... so you're a lingering spirit? You got summoned? By who?
no subject
Date: 2025-07-18 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-18 08:06 pm (UTC)( hello? bold. )
no subject
Date: 2025-07-19 02:56 pm (UTC)I don't know about worlds having desires, Master Takasugi... that's for people, probably.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-21 08:06 pm (UTC)( takasugi exhales lightly on the other end of the call, but it's a sound that's barely audible. )
Fine. I won't share either of these issues with anyone. But if it’s something that actually puts your life at risk at some point, I can't make any promises.
(no subject)
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